Dear Reader

Any reference to any person living or dead is purely
coincidental, and not meant to cause offence , only to provoke humour, and as a vehicle to "get things off my chest"

Tuesday, 30 September 2014

Building Bridges, Crossing Bridges, Burning Bridges...

Which bridge am I willing to burn
in order to cross the one that leads to more connection and deeper meaning.
A bridge built on the foundations of freedom and trust,
where the constants are relax and enjoy
and the only rules are to aid and abet.

The bridge to burn has many names, like security, fear, self doubt, judgementalism,
expectation and whatever its called when you build
strong high walls of protection around yourself.

I long to cross over to a place where it's possible to experience
relationship/connection at a deeper level.

Where the connections are like strong invisible threads that hold lovely things close.
Where it's possible to share a comfortable space that's on one hand
close enough to be invasive, but feels like meant to be.

Where the distance is measured by a heartbeat or the space between
lips nuzzling your neck or hands and fingers that easily entwine,
which is no space at all.

Where being together is something that's headed somewhere in an
exciting and engaging way, which has a certain flow.

Where there's a sense that the journey is as important as the destination
yet there's still anticipation for those magic moments when
your universes collide and for a fleeting moment you have the deep sense
of having really been together.









Monday, 29 September 2014

Going Mad...

I'm wondering about going mad,
and I'm actually thinking at this moment that it's a beautiful thing.

I'm in the clouds...(Flying home)
I'm in-between two quiet men.
One's reading "man fiction" and one's reading about emotional intelligence,
how to get the best of things.

I'm thinking about life and quietly weeping.
I'm thinking about going mad.

It's your minds way of coping with the difficulties life sends you...
It's trying to make sense of things that don't make sense.

I'm thinking about people, about family and babies and how lovely and precious they are
I'm thinking about gratefulness.

This is all happening amid the roar of the engines, the thick blanket of cloud
and the cold air from the overhead duct.

It's funny, jammed in here its a very public/private space,
and we're all literally "up in the air".

I'm thinking it's ok to be old, funny incapable, unable, disabled, dependant,
incomplete...mad.
It's ok, and somehow you're still you...

When you love someone you don't need them to be capable, you just want them to be there,
you want to remember...you want to have a lot to remember.

You don't always know that you love people so much.
It takes something to open your eyes...
Your heart's been open all along.

These are some thoughts that I penned on the flight home from visiting mum earlier in the year.
She was in hospital as a result of being in the last stages of Parkinson's and Alzheimer's.
The situation at times was surreal, and she seemed to literally be between two worlds.
Thinking of endings is sometimes frightening we want to avoid it rather than embrace it. 
It all made me think...about life, death, love, loss and going mad.
In the end I thought it was ok...not easy but ok.



Saturday, 20 September 2014

Rozie Ponders....


When it came to negotiating romantic relationships
and their potential outcomes...

Rozie wondered about the sizzle and the fizzle.

Did one always lead to the other?

The Blow Up Elephant...

The inflatable elephant...
it comes with a foot pump... so you can quietly inflate away
 when you want to highlight the "unmentionable".

For when you know the topic's going to be huge,
 and the pop up just won't cut it!.

More From BB.....


Big Bird...


It was something to do with waiting.
A kind of patience, or coming to a place where you can actually wait.
Not fussing, not edgy, just waiting,
When it's like that you get space to question
and evaluate what you want and what it means...what's really going on.
It takes a while...but that's what happens ultimately.

Friday, 29 August 2014

That's My Schtick....

Or what's my schtick...
For Rozie that was the big question.

What was she on about?
What were her defining qualities?
Was it action or opinion?.
She could often pick up on someone elses schtick...
but did she know her own schtick?

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Saying Goodbye To Mum...

This is the way I remember her in my minds eye,
it's an older version of her "classic look".

She still holds that slightly cheeky playful side close to the surface,
 but at the same time having a way of seeing through to the heart of the matter.
It's only a few years since there was a diagnosis of Parkinson's disease,
which was later paired devastatingly with Alzheimer's.

 This photograph reminds me of the start of that journey,
A journey whos' final destination mum reached last week.

She didn't travel alone,
the journey overlapped into the life of family and friends.


Many were able to visit her over the last months
having time for quiet goodbye's.

Dad was ever by her side, giving love and encouragement,
his love never wavered, he always saw her beauty inside and out.
She took comfort in small simple things something soft to cuddle,
and a hand to hold.


Dad read stories from their past,
favourite hymns and scriptures, which brought her comfort.
These photos were taken in the hospital before she was moved to the high care facility.



Until she came peacefully to her final rest, in the presence of family ,
and it's suspected... visitors from the other side
to welcome and guide her home.


Surrounded by a wealth of family, she was carried by grandchildren to her earthly resting place.

Where prayers were offered and encouragements given,
and of course songs were sung.

Despite the sadness there were times of laughter, as we remembered and celebrated a life well lived.

Thanks mum, you were the best...
lots of memories to treasure as our journey continues
on the road  you showed us how to travel.

I decided to share this part of my life in this way and in this space
because as I experience  the passing of a parent I realise that it involves plenty of 
"tension in the negative spaces" .
It's been an emotional time, with both laughter and tears.
A time for connecting and re connecting with family and friends.

There have been so many things to be grateful for, thoughtfulness and kindness thats been shown in so many ways, big and small.  

Thank you to everyone.



Saturday, 2 August 2014

The Elephant In The Room...


After an absence of about 5 months Rozie is making a comeback...
if you want to see more be sure to click on the heading
'Tension in the negative spaces'



Rozie decided she wanted an elephant on a stick,
as a means of perhaps addressing or at least acknowledging
with a quiet nod that there are so many topics which seem to be
conveniently surrounded by a thick layer of fog.

But are actually...
 inconveniently staring you in the face!.

Something up her sleeve as it were to tackle the
oh so often encountered cognitive dissonance.

She mostly thought it would be used when conversing with others,
but what to do when she encountered her own heard of elephants?

Friday, 7 March 2014

Saturday, 11 January 2014

Courage Is The Key...

Courage is the key!

It's about letting love win over fear...

Somehow finding a way to face all the feelings
of vulnerability, isolation and inadequacy...
and letting that open up what comes next.

It's the only thing that has any chance of unlocking your potential.

Just when you thought''great I've unlocked that door''...
you realise that there's another door ahead....
and so it goes...

Life will always have doors to unlock.
It's about moving forward and finding
''treasures in dark places''

Thursday, 9 January 2014

Things That Make Me Happy...

This is a list of things that make me feel good and give me the ''up'', I'm going to add to it every day.


1 Candles

2 Velvet cats

3 Great music

4 The idea of things progressing...getting to the next new bit.

5 Working out more ''stuff''

6 Change that's positive

7 Friends that stay connected

8 Being warm and cosy

9 Things to do with ''the heart''

10 Having choices

11 Wine of course

12 Simple beauty

13 Complex beauty

14  Authenticity

15 People to share with

16 Celebration and Events

17 Things you know you're connected to

18 When you had a dream and you see it coming true, not necessarily in the way that you
     thought...but still it's exciting...it's connected to your vision and passion

19 Longing...when you can imagine how great something could be and you're happy to
     know that the idea will take you a long way and give you hope when you have to
     wait and have patience

20 Friends who ''get'' what you mean

21 Imagination and possibility

22 The feel of something silky

23 Sunsets

24 Dew drops on spider webs

25 Brewed Coffee in the morning

26 The smell of fresh herbs....particularly Basil

27 Having the luxury of ''waisting'' time....
     in other words doing things you want to do
     but that seem unimportant to others

28 Picnics

29 Fairy Lights

30 Recipe Books

31 Making Food

32 Sharing Food

33 Taking Photos Of Food





Tuesday, 7 January 2014


Initially...
what happened was quite unexpected,
and quite frankly left her wondering
and a bit breathless...

It was more about ''giving it time and establishing trust''...
well that's what she was thinking

However as time went on
she wondered about the outcome....
 and the big questions.

She wanted answers
but she knew that it was all
a work in progress.

 

Saturday, 30 November 2013

Just Words....

Today it's just words....



I can't say yes,
and I can't say no.

I want to say yes to your tightrope to the edge.
To having too much fun.
To long lingering looks and soft touches.
Squeezes and deep kisses.
To being lost in a zone that's not often visited.
To being on the other side and to getting perspective.

I want to say no to my fears and convention.
To the unspoken broken trash heap that we've visited before.
No to usual, trivial, fearful.

Yes to acknowledging the complex.
To finding the balance and harmony in the tension.
To beauty and fragility.
To the bit that you let go in order to find the "sweet true spot'
In the other.
Connection and re-connection.
Individual yet seeking the other.

I want to say yes, 
I want to say no.


( To be honest it's not just words..
it's thoughts and wishes and dreams 
and a whole lot of what's hard to get right 
when dealing with relationships in the real world)





Wednesday, 16 October 2013

Guest Spot...

This is a reflection from "Maxie"
thanks for sharing darling...
love your work.